I think there is something really wrong with me. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I am so exhausted all day long. This morning Liv was taking a nap and Kade snuggled up with me on the couch to read, and I fell asleep while he was talking about one of the pictures. I opened my eyes about an hour later to see Kade playing on the floor with his pirates and the book still opened in my lap. It scared the crap out of me. I don’t know if it’s just a mild depression from being stuck in the house all day every day for the past few weeks, or over-tiredness from waking all hours of the night and running in the mornings, or the beginning of a cold - or a combination of them all.

My appetite has been peculiar too. I crave chocolate all day. I’ve tried eating sugar-free pudding (Jell-O makes one with Splenda in it, and it is really good) to trick my body into thinking it’s getting what it wants, but it only leaves me wanting more. Today I ate an entire candy bar that I had stashed away, which is not going to help with my energy level at all. Maybe I’m not eating enough to sustain myself with all the running, nursing, and daily activity that I do, so my body is screaming at me to eat. That would make sense if I was losing weight, which I’m not (thanks to the candy bars) but desperately want to.

My housekeeping has been more than lacking lately as well, but I blame that on this blog. I used to vacuum, dust, etc. when I had a free minute. Now I plop my butt at the computer and write during my precious few moments of quiet. It’s my only connection to the outside world as of late, so the dust will just have to pile up a little longer. I like to think of it as insulation.

My patience is lacking too (it’s never been one of my better attributes). Kade followed me into the basement yesterday when I went down to dig for clothing bins. He discovered the “old toy graveyard” and was like a pirate just setting eyes on his treasure (I mean that literally - he was wearing his eye patch and had his hook in hand). It took me about 15 minutes to negotiate my way out of there without a category 5 temper tantrum occurring. The terms of our agreement included bringing his rocking horse upstairs with us. Fine, he can rock to his heart’s content and I can get a few things accomplished in the meantime. Little did I know that he would find the sound button within 5 minutes of playing with the thing. If I hear the song “Home on the range” one more time, I’m going to chuck that horse through the nearest window. Kade is dead-set on learning all the words so he rocks while playing that god-forsaken song over and over and over…his attempt at singing is freakin’ adorable, but the annoying kid singing in the background - not so much. When, oh when, will companies stop putting sound in every toy they produce? Whatever happened to quiet play? Isn’t anyone concerned about the sanity of parents everywhere?