Today I feel like I am drowning. I have a board meeting tonight at the preschool so I’ve been scrambling all day to get the paperwork together (nothing like waiting until the last minute), making phone calls (some people still haven’t turned in the paperwork due July 1st), and compiling my list of things to discuss. Of course, we had swim class this morning and because Monday’s are my “rest day” from running, I slept in, which meant we were in a mad dash to make it to the pool on time. I spent the afternoon organizing for the meeting and fielding phone calls, and neglecting the myriad of things I really need to get accomplished. This house is a complete mess. Everything appears orderly and neat, but upon closer inspection the layers of dust, finger streaked glass, and mass quantities of dog hair covering our furniture will prove that it hasn’t been properly cleaned in a while. Tomorrow I have to run (I’m meeting Sarah at 5:45), show someone the school at 9:00, attempt to make it to the grocery store, and get to swim class by 11. Liv naps in the afternoon so I’m hoping to dust and vacuum, but I’m usually completely exhausted by 2:00.
I need an extra day. I need to blog about my 14-miler on Saturday, my shin splints and my new running shoes. I need a house-keeper. I need school to start so my registrar duties slow down. I need to stop bitching. While I’m at it…I need a cure for diabetes because while I’m living life it’s always in the background, framing everything I do, annoying the crap out of me. I really need to go on our vacation to Chicago…now.
It’s hard for me to let things go. I have extremely high expectations for myself, my family, and every aspect of my life. I stress out when things aren’t perfect (I’m aware that they never are or will be, but it doesn’t stop me from trying to make them that way). It is nearly impossible for me to tell people no. At this point, I am so burnt out that just getting through the day is becoming increasingly difficult. I’m putting all my eggs in my “Chicago vacation” basket…I really hope I don’t crack before they do.
