Here’s a transcript of a conversation I had with Kade over a roast beef lunch:

“Mom, am I eating a cow?”

“Yes, honey. You are.” (At this point I’m just hoping he doesn’t start wigging out).

“This isn’t one of the cows from the Farmpark, though…right?” (Oh lord, now he thinks he’s eating one of his beloved bovines from his favorite place on earth.)

“No, honey. Those are dairy cows. The cows we eat are cattle that are raised for food.”

“Oh, so I’m eating one of the cows they use for chocolate milk.” (Huh?)

“See, the edge is brown…just like the chocolate milk cows.” (Ok, now I’m going to make this conversation even stranger and move on to other animals, because freaking my kids out is what I do best.)

“All of our meat comes from animals. It’s the circle of life…you know, the Lion King. Don’t you just love that song? We eat animals to live. Animals eat other animals. It’s all part of the food chain. Roast beef comes from cows…bacon comes from pigs…ham comes from pigs…”

“Wow. Pigs make two kinds of things!”

“You have no idea kid…pigs make some of the best tasting stuff on earth.” (I’m salivating at the thought of pork belly, prosciutto, the three little pigs that made my heart flutter…good lord, I’m in hog heaven.)

“I love pigs. They are cute and bacon is my favorite.”

At this point he goes back to munching on his roast beef. This kid is impossible to predict. Seriously.