These installments should come in handy when my kids give me grief about not having any scrap/baby books.

Liv is getting ready to use the potty and spots a tampon on the counter. Sorry, TMI. But it’s essential to the dialogue that follows.

Liv: “Mama, that’s to help you poop, right?”

Me: “No, Liv.”

Liv: “To help you pee?”

Me: “No, Liv.”

Liv: “Toot?”

Me: “No.” I’m just hoping she will tire of this line of questioning, finish doing her business, and move on to something else so I don’t have to go anywhere near explaining what it’s actual use is.

Liv: “Then what?”

Me: “I’ll tell you all about it when you are older.”

Liv: “Okay.” Then she runs from the bathroom, anxious to get her cowboy boots back on (don’t ask).

Sometimes I really wish this job came with a manual. I also wish that I would remember how easily Liv accepts my answers…or lack thereof.

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Yesterday, Kyle and the kids waited in the car while I ran sprinted into the library to pick up Book 9 in the Sookie Stackhouse series (don’t ask me how the library got it before it’s release date, but South Euclid is hooked up).

I get back in the car smiling at the thought of my Bon Temps escape.

Kade: “Mama, you love vampires.” This is a statement. Not a question.

Me: “Kade, I love to read about vampires.”

Kade: “You kiss vampires.” (said in the tune of na-na-na-boo-boo).

Me: “I can’t kiss a vampire because they aren’t real.”

Kade: Sings. “I am a vampire. I am a vampire. But I have lost my fangs again.” See Juno soundtrack.

Now you know why I love that kid? He’s funny. Really. Really. Funny.